Love, Anyway

By Rabbi Shefa Gold

I love to sing. I had wanted to join the Community Chorus, but at the first rehearsal I innocently asked, “Are we only singing Christmas music?” The choir director proudly said YES. So, I decided to write to the village’s mayor who is in the choir.

Hi Mr. Mayor,
I appreciate that you wanted the community Chorus to reflect the diversity of our valley. I had an idea about the event on December 21st which happens to be the last night of Chanukah. Perhaps during that celebration, we could light the Menorah and my husband and I could sing a chant about the growing LIGHT of this season.
Let me know if this might add to the joy.
Thanks,
Shefa

The Mayor responded saying “I think this would be a great addition to the evening and to the season.” But he didn’t have a say about this. The decision would be up to the general chair (his wife) and the music director.

Well, they conferred and decided that we could sing, but we couldn’t light the menorah. I sought a compromise. How about if we light the menorah before everyone arrives and just have it there while we were singing about the light? The answer was NO. Here was the explanation: “There is such diversity in our community and in an attempt to be sensitive to that we decided not to include religious symbols.”

And then I tried to reason, “You’ll be singing Christmas songs in a church surrounded by crosses, Christmas decorations and a big Christmas tree. Aren’t those religious symbols?”

Apparently not.

I wondered, “Who would we be offending by having the light of the menorah alongside all the Christmas lights, shining out through the darkness?”

This conversation took place the day after Jews of Australia were gunned down during their family beach celebration of lighting the Menorah for Chanukah. I was stunned and scared, and all my rabbi friends were conferring about how they might keep their communities safe amid the worldwide rising tide of antisemitism. We were all shaken, looking for solace, looking for allies.

I was driving home from town during this conversation about the chorus, feeling sad, marginalized, frustrated… and as I pulled into my home, I was greeted by a big, blue, sparkling Jewish star hanging from a tree along the driveway. I knew that my neighbor had put it there and it made me smile and lifted my gloom. I was reminded of the good people who were my neighbors, the people who had my back and warmed my heart with their kindness.

 I could remain annoyed, upset and irritated by this hurtful (and antisemitic) blind spot in my community…. or, I could choose to put my attention here, on the big, blue, sparkling star in my driveway, on kindness, compassion and the light that we are growing with our love for each other.

I make this choice for the love of God. When I am upset with the narrowness of this world, with its meanness, its cruelty or pettiness, I have a choice (if I’m awake that is.) I can be a victim of this world, or I can use every challenge as an opportunity to expand beyond my own reactivity, beyond restricting dualities.

The love of God is the internal built-in force of expansion that opens my heart and allows me to feel the pain but not be run by it. The love of God is the love of all, my oppressors included. It is the love of God that offers me a sacred pause, where my reactivity can be transformed into wise response.

It is the love of God in me that sends me to the realization that, these are my neighbors, after all, even with their limitations and blind spots. I live here in this village which is a microcosm of the world. Can I find my love, regardless of this world’s indifference or cruelty? Can I find my love, anyway?

Rabbi Shefa Gold received her ordination both from the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College and from Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, and is the director of C-DEEP, The Center for Devotional, Energy and Ecstatic Practice. Shefa  has produced ten albums, four apps, and is the author of 4 books:

Torah Journeys: The Inner Path to the Promised Land, In the Fever of Love, The Magic of Hebrew Chant, and Are We There Yet? Travel as a Spiritual Practice. Her new project -Love at the Center, is an immersion in The Song of Songs- a mystical text that is meant to transform our lives so that we can transform the world. She has also developed 4 apps for spiritual practice: Flavors of Gratefulness, Flavors of Praise, Love at the Center and the Magic of Psalms.

You can learn more at Shefa’s website: www.RabbiShefagold.com